Newsletter, October 27, 2005

A lot of what we see in our teaching is painful to bear --kids who've been abused, girls locked up, teenagers struggling on the streets. But there's something else going on out where we teach, something wonderful. It's hard to describe, but it's a sense of yoga that is intensely positive, yoga as a spark in the lives of certain young people to do amazing things, to be powerful and true inside and out. They get it, and their enthusiasm is catching and contagious. "Yoga helps when you're angry", "Yoga make your body not be sore", "Yoga is great!". It's not only the way these young people express their thoughts about yoga, it's the positive spirit they hold. It's as if, for many of them, yoga is obvious, like drinking water is obvious and music is obvious and friendship is obvious.

We're adding another class for youngsters whose families are homeless, and perhaps we will call it "Yoga for Life", for truly, that's what it is.

In one of the recent SY classes i taught, there was a 12 year old girl, we'll call her Maggie. In the beginning of class, she started picking her nose and eating it, which grossed out the rest of the girls in class. One girl on the other side of the room was not liking it at all, and you could see storm clouds gathering between them. You could see the part of the story from before i got there, where Maggie had just arrived, nearly defenseless amid the older girls. You could sense she had never in her life been able to protect herself, and each new situation was a beating waiting to happen.

Maggie continued with her nose until the other girl stormed out of class, and the counselor had to take Maggie out and explain in terms i did not hear that there would be consequences for continuing to act out as such. The rest of class she refrained from picking her nose, but every pose we did, she said in advance, "I can't do that" or "I'm not good enough" or "I'm not strong enough for that". She was alone in her world, with enough demons for many lifetimes.

As a yoga teacher, we have few, but powerful tools at hand. The breath was too abstract for her, but i knew there was something she could do well, and when we got to half hand-stand at the wall, she lit up. "I can do that!" and before i could get in place to spot her, she was halfway up the wall. We encouraged her to press strong through her hands and arms, lengthen through the crown of her head, look back at the wall, and breathe. We sneaked it in, that word. "Breathe." She did it all, well, and when she came down, she had a look of accomplishment that i'm sure was rare in her life. "I did it!" It was hers, one small success in an ocean of "failure", one small piece in building up a self that is not simply the world's punching bag or sex toy, but a self that is as valuable to God as you or i.

Why did Maggie act in self-destruction. Why bring on a fight knowing the beating will hurt, maybe worse than ever before? A lady writing in Sun magazine might know:

Yoga is not cutting. It's showing up and breathing and standing on your own two feet and believing that somehow, you are beloved by God. Maybe if Maggie hears that enough, succeeds enough on the mat, she'll come to believe it too.

This is a question i have been asking myself off and on for the last few years. I know it "works" for me, but can it be effective to help those who live on the streets to find stable housing, or to help those who suffer from a history of abuse to grow past the nightmares and the anger?

As part of our Street Yoga work, a small group of us has loosely formed to build a program around this question. We will be asking, specifically, if yoga can be an effective part of the long-term healing for those, as someone wrote to me in an email, "who are dealing with the ravages of childhood sexual, physical and emotional abuse."

We will be meeting next month over tea, to share what we know, and to begin devising concrete plans for not only bringing more yoga to those in such pain, but doing so in a mindful way, with an eye towards the long-term healing, so we can really ascertain what works and what does not.

We are continuing to build our first curricula for the Wellness Workshops for Homeless Youth. Do any of you have any knowledge around creating low-cost self-care products, ideally with an Ayurvedic base? I'm thinking skin care masks, foot cream, toothpaste, anything that could be made by inexpensive, readily available products. Please send me a note if you have any ideas around this at all.

We'll also be looking to gather self-care, hygiene and first aid supplies for the youth. We want to give all workshop participants "kits" with useful products and tools for helping them through their days and nights. I'll send out a more formal list next month, but if you want to take a look at the bare bones outline of the classes online, you'll begin to get an idea. Click here to read more.

A couple of us will be heading to Eugene in early November to meet and study with Shakta Khalsa. Her Radiant Child Yoga embraces the natural exuberance of youth, and creates honesty of insight for young people going through the emotional and physical changes of childhood. If anyone is interested in the Eugene training and might want to carpool drop us a line. You can also check out the Radiant Child Yoga website for info about books and other workshops.

Also in November, we will be doing some training with Jim and Lynea Gillen, founders and co-creators of Yoga Calm here in Portland. Yoga Calm is a series of counselor, teacher or parent-led activities that help children develop self-control, concentration skills and nervous system regulation. Check out the website for more info about trainings in November and into next year.

We have made some progress in defining our goals around the GLBTQ yoga series, which we'll be offering at SMYRC here in Portland. You can read more about it by clicking here. If any of you is interested in helping teach this, please drop a note via our volunteer page. Thanks.

Recently, i had a wicked nightmare: i was driving 70 MPH and my car veered at full speed into the other lane, where the other car was veering into mine at 70 MPH. Awareness, irrefutable awareness of instant and total death exploded me awake with an ancient shattering scream.

I hate when that happens, this echo of long-ago trauma, because it insists that others, my family, endure with me an unrestful night. But as i have gotten older, i have come to see the sweet side to this agony. Death is awaiting all of us. For some it will come quickly and oh too soon, for some at a peaceful old age surrounded by loved ones and kindly dreams. But knowing this, i can focus on what's truly important today, and every day, because any day could truly be my last.

Steven Jobs, co-founder of Apple Computer, after finding out he had cancer, said:

Four centuries ago, Miguel de Cervantes wrote: "The phoenix hope, can wing her way through the desert skies, and still defying fortune's spite; revive from ashes and rise."

On that note, smiles and blessings to you all.

Namaste, mark